Soooo, anyway. Yesterday we returned home from our long absence and discovered the following little gem of a message in our email inbox from a married neighbor down the road. And after several minutes of disbelief, Mike and I both agreed to put good taste aside and post the contents of the email for your viewing pleasure.
*** WARNING: ADULT CONTENT ***
Subject: Just a note
| "I just want to thank you for the time you spent with me this morning. I really enjoyed the conversation with you as always. You are really a joy to have in my life. Thanks for being you. While I was sitting in the truck talking with you I was thinking how much I would like to be laying next to you and having this conversation. Then I began to get an erection and new that I better change the subject if I was to go into the store and get the milk. See the kind of effect you have on me? I love it. Keep up the good work." Love you |
Nice to know that family values are alive and kicking in GR!
I suppose the real interesting part will be when our careless neighbor realizes that he sent the message to the wrong recipient.
24 comments:
OMG! That is too funny! What are you going to do with the note?
You could always remind your neighbor that National Erection Day is in November...so he's a bit premature.
Let's see... who can sleuth this out?
Truck: check.
Erection: check.
Tasked to get milk: check.
It must be none other than Milk Man Dan, everyone's favorite cartoon hero: http://www.redmeat.com/redmeat/1996-07-01/index.html
A guy who enjoys conversation! In someone's truck! Should you be worried about his gender preferences?! We have a neighbor like that! ;)
-Robin
I think I remember someone writing this same note in my year book.
Keep up the good work. And, don't go changin', Michelle.
Wait a minute...do you think "go into the store and get the milk" is a euphemism for something else??
Note to Mike: Make sure Michelle isn't hanging out in the neighbor's truck when she's supposed to be getting milk.
HAHA!! that was good for a laugh.
what a guy... he knows that using words like 'erection' and 'keep up the good work' are what all ladies love to hear.
I find the use of "new" vs. the expected "knew" to be intriguing as well.
Must be a clue. There's got to be a hidden message there. A little bit of noodling shows the following anagrams for "erection and new":
Certain Need Now - obvious.
Not Caned Wiener - right.
Endow Ancienter - good for him.
A Indecent Owner - obvious
Anecdote Winner - Probably the intended message.
The anagrams are too much! I like "not caned wiener". I am wondering if we should start dropping subtle hints here and there - I like the Erection in November for sure. Nicely thought out Kris!
And I will agree that he certainly knows how to talk to the ladies!!!!
This guy is wrong on so many levels. I am very grateful that you decided to put aside good taste!
I was just thinking...don't let this guy know (or in his case, no) that he mis-directed the email. Maybe he'll send new installments. Is there any way to respond as if you were the girlfriend?
That would be sooo much fun. It's probably against some federal law though.
Just a thought...
I agree with Aunt Kris, you could really have some fun with this. I think you should stage a Disturbia-style stakeout and keep an eye on this guy. (yes, still loving Shia)
I knew this was something that everyone would enjoy! ha! I don't know that we will be lucky enough to receive future installments, although this guy is a pretty loose canon so who knows. Let's just say that I will be doing my best to avoid him.
Off topic...but Sears has some Lands End uniform pants.
I was once the recipient of multiple misdirected e-mails from a woman named Glenna. It was great fun sending her recipes until Mike jumped in and ruined it all (with one of the most hilarious e-mails I have ever read). Needless to say, Glenna was offended and the whole affair ended. Michael, don't use a sledge where a ball peen will do.
OMG, I remember hearing about that! Too funny. You had a nice little relationship going for a while if I recall.
Yeah, a nice little relationship, until Mike told her about your trip to Sammy's Burritos near the Grand Canyon and your subsequent case of the trots.
Hmmm, now I think you are mixing stories - I have never set foot near the Grand Canyon....
Mike remembered it being more about the western themed wedding you and applejax were planning. We will have to consult with the source when he is available.
Wait, I take that back... I think you are right. That was how the story went. Bad food and cha-cha-cha! HA! HA!
The Wife comes through again:
Glenna dear, Michelle and I really missed you at the wedding! Some of the
guests were put out by the theme, but how many Western shoot 'em up weddings
have they been to? I mean, the groom on horseback, guns ablaze, the bride
jumping from the hotel window onto the back of his horse... it was
fantastic! We used blanks for most of the ceremony, but we broke out the
live stuff for the reception! William Tell, anyone?!?
Jason and Jacki were fabulous as well! Jason had a bit of a problem fitting
into his outfit since his recent weight loss (who knew it was legal to get a
tapeworm installed?) but it worked out great. Jacki only fell down the steps
twice! A new record since her Navy days!
About your trip, it's a darn-tootin good thing (and I do mean tootin') that
you didn't stop at Little Sammy's by the lake. Constard it, I've never seen
a woman so sick in all my life! Here's another tip: if you're traveling for
a long distance in a Winnebago, empty the septic unit when you can. Don't
try to wait till the end of the first leg of the trip, because if someone
gets sick, you're in trouble. And I mean ankle-deep in trouble. LEAPIN
LIZARDS!
By the way, that same little birdie still wants to be included in the shirt
deal. Don't tell him you heard it from me, but I think you should make him
one that would normally fit a 10 year-old child. With that tapeworm doing
its business, he'll be lucky if he doesn't disappear in a week!
Well, I gotta get back on the road. Lotsa speculums to sell between here and
Oxnard! Take care!
M.
OMG. I am laughing so hard right now. Sorry Claude, but I needed to edit your last comment. Only personal email info was removed and a few extra line breaks. The text was untouched. Poor Glenna deserves a break from having to relive the past!
****
Claude has left a new comment on the post "Blackmail":
Here is more of the story leading up to the above:
-----Original Message-----
From: GRB
[mailto:]
Sent: Friday, July 02, 1999 10:12 AM
To: m
Subject: Re: Oh Glenna!
Hi, I will have to admit I don't remember you. Please fill me in. We had a great time at Mesa Verde and the Grand Candon. Didn't eat at any of the places you mentioned. Glenna
----------
> From: m
> To: grb
> Subject: Oh Glenna!
> Date: Tuesday, February 23, 1999 10:04 AM
>
> Someone emailed me your note. You act like you don't know me and my bride-to-be Michelle! We certainly remember you. I heard that you're trying to lose weight... be careful. You're fine the way you are, that's what Michelle says! And she's always right about these things! That girl...
>
> I also heard you were going to Mesa Verde on your way to the Grand
Canyon. Be careful with what you eat. Michelle got the trots something fierce at "Little Sammy's Pizza and Burrito Emporium by the lake". I ate the same thing and was ok, but that salsa will really set your mouth aflame! Boy howdy!
>
> In other news, we're thinking of moving. We'll probably stay in the area though. You of all people know how addictive this place can be! It's a fever, I'll say!
>
> Well, take care of yourself, and don't over-diet. (Just between you and me, a little bird was a little bit jealous to hear of your making shirts for Sheila and Leila, but you know how _he_ is. Always ME ME ME since he got out of the hospital.) Have fun on your trip to Mesa Verde!
>
> Take care, Bushmans! Or is it Bushmen?!?
>
> Love,
>
> Mike and Michelle
Please cease and desist using our name in your future writings. We pride ourselves on our ham and cheese subs not the green-apple-two-steps. Thank you.
We deliver!
Sammy's has been gone for years. Now the only place to get nachos in Hillsadale is Taco Bell.
Rats. I loved that place. That, and, walking (at 2:00 in the morning) to Burger King. Walking through the drive-thru, after an evening full of co-ed shenanigans. Ahhh, back in the day.
I will always remember Sammy's as being the first place that I was introduced to the goodness that is jalapeno poppers (cream cheese filing please, NOT cheddar) - courtesy of Mike of course.
Ahhh, yes. Back in the day...so, so, soooo long ago!!!!
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